This is My Grown Up Christmas List

GUYS.

GUYS.

JUST LOOK AT THIS.

It has like 20 different bath bombs in it, and soaps and bath melts and bubble bars and I neeeeed it. Bath time is the best time, and this is the gift that keeps on giving, okay? I'm not knocking the Jelly of the Month Club, but this is like the Ultimate Diva Supreme gift. I must have it. I won't get it, but... sigh...

This Jingle Bells Collection is pretty dope, too. Just saying.

I say "Maid Service for a Year," but I am fine with any amount of maid service. Even if it were just ONE DAY. Just one day... Man, what would that even BE like? I don't think I would know what do if I didn't have to do dishes and laundry and cook and clean and blah blah blah... just let me binge-watch my stories. Geez.

Speaking of binge-watching... go ahead and grab this for me while you're getting your Cyber Monday on. It's the ENTIRE series, Fire Walk With Me, and hours of extras and special features. I need this because I need this. Also 90's Kyle MacLachlan is a National Treasure.

Because NO DUH.

This is an early Christmas Present, but I want the Alabama Crimson Tide to beat Mizzou and bring home SEC Championship #24 to Tuscaloosa. ROLL TIDE.

Hey, while we're at it, Santa Claus, go ahead and toss in National Championship #16. That wonky CFB Playoff Trophy will look mighty fine next to all the Crystal in the Bryant Museum.

You cannot go wrong here.

(Item pictured is Hourglass Cosmetics' Ambient Lighting Blush Palette, BTW. Need it, too.)

The technical term for this is "Peace on Earth and Goodwill toward men," and all y'all pretty much ace this one December 1-25. I think it would be awesome if we could do so ALL THE TIME. You know, just be decent, considerate people. I'm not perfect, but I try. Let's all try. Think about what a wonderful world this would be if we cared about our neighbor as much as we cared about ourselves. No war, no mass shootings, no people sucker-punching one another in Toys-R-Us on December 23. We can make it happen.

Girlfriend knocks it out of the park on AHS and is basically perfect, so please, Santa... I just want to high-five the One True Supreme.

Not literally. Gross.

I just want my hair to look like hers. Girl's hair game is flawless.

I really don't think I could want for much else if my hair were this on point all the time. I would just run around everywhere and toss my lovely locks in everyone's faces. I mean, achieving this level of hair is a serious life goal.