Being a Server is Basically the Hardest Job Ever, So Let's Share Our Horror Stories!

If you've ever worked in the food service industry, you've got some STORIES TO TELL. Let's dish about our worst experiences waiting tables, serving customers, or just dealing with awful people in general. I'll go first...

Yesterday I found out about a restaurant in Kentucky that's banned tipping in an effort to ensure its servers make a reliable wage. Basically, the owner was like, "I'M TIRED OF Y'ALL BEING JERKS AND NOT TIPPING" so he started paying his servers 20% of their food sales or $10/hour, which ever is more. I wrote a story about how awesome I thought this was; I used to be a sever back in the day, and I feel for my people.

Servers get, like, ZERO respect, which is odd because you think people would (at the very least) not shade the people in charge of handling their food. I don't know if people just think you're stupid because you're waiting tables or people are just flat out JERKS, but man... I have had some EXPERIENCES.

I'll start with the best one: I was waiting tables at a chain restaurant known for its family appeal. I hated, with all of my cold black heart, working on Sunday nights. This one church group would come in and I'd bust it for an hour taking care of their group of 30+. I never messed up an order. No one ever had an empty drink. I was always super nice to them, but they would leave me RELIGIOUS TRACTS as tips. You know, those little books that explain who Jesus is and why you should get saved. This infuriated me because a) Jesus is just alright with me. My father is an ordained minister, and I don't need your book to learn about Christianity. I'm not an evil harlot because I am working on a Sunday night, I am a college kid just trying to earn some money... b) if I did need to know about Jesus, maybe you could ACTUALLY TALK TO ME about him instead of leaving me a religious tract... and c) this paper booklet ain't gonna pay my water bill.

But that's not the worst of it: one Sunday evening, I was taking the order of the church's minister and his family. His daughter (who appeared to be in 6th grade) said to me, (and I will never forget this) "I want the Fish and Chips, and I'd like a side order of lemons. LEMONSSSSSSSSS. I am using the plural form of the word because I want more than one slice of lemon. I don't know if you know what plural means, but it means more than one." Then she gave me this smug grin and rolled her eyes at me and said to her father, THE PREACHER, THE DUDE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE KIND AND LEAD BY EXAMPLE, "How much do you want to bet she messes it up? These people are so dumb!" Then they laughed at me.

IN MY FACE.

I continued taking orders with a smile on my face, but inside grew a rage hotter than the fire of a thousand restaurant griddles.

IT WAS ON.

I put the order in the kitchen, and then I went back in the walk-in cooler to grab some LEMONSSSSSS. I told my manager my evil plan, and he laughed and said to go for it; he'd even help.

We took an entire tray of lemon slices from my pre-shift prep work and laid them out on two platters. It was probably about 250 lemon slices. I also brought out an entire crate of whole lemons. I had four other servers help me deliver said LEMONSSSSSSSS to the preacher and his daughter along with their food order.

They looked at me like I was crazy, and then I curtly said, "I hope you enjoy your Fish-n-Chips! I made sure to bring plenty of LEMONSSSSS, because I do know what 'plural' means. I'm an English major at Western Kentucky University, and I'm attending college on a full-tuition scholarship, so rest assured that I know what the word 'plural' means. Y'all enjoy your dinner, and let me know if there's anything else I can get you!"

Dude's jaw hit the floor. I straight up SHAMED him. I know I should have turned the other cheek and all, but come on. Put yourself in my black skid-resistant shoes. I'd put up with their rudeness for MONTHS, and this condescending little brat was (bad waitress pun) THE LAST STRAW. The minister apologized and offered me a huge tip, and even though I really wanted the money I declined. I just told him that maybe he should talk to his kids about being mean and judging others.

Being a Server is Basically the Hardest Job Ever, So Let’s Share Our Horror Stories!