All I Want for Christmas Is For It NOT To Be 80 Degrees Outside

IT IS CHRISTMAS, AND I AM WEARING FLIP-FLOPS.

Okay, I may or may not wear flip-flops like 70% of the time, but that's not the issue here. The issue is that is CHRISTMAS and it's going to be 80 dang degrees outside.

This is not cool--both literally and figuratively.

I was on my way to work this morning, trying to get merry by listening to some Christmas music. I'm driving down McFarland and I hear "...walking in a winter wonderland..." and I almost have to pull over I am laughing so hard.

Winter Wonderland?

More like Humid Hellscape.

I want it to be cold outside. It's Christmas. In a perfect world, we'd have a white Christmas--but this is Alabama, and I am realistic. It never snows here, and that's precisely why I am willing to settle for good old fashioned winter weather. Give me a high of 50 degrees, and I will be happy.

I want to be able to wear a sweater. I want to actually have a fire in the fireplace as I hang our stockings tonight. I want to drink egg nog and snuggle up on the couch in a cocoon of blankets as I binge-watch Rankin-Bass claymation specials.

I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night and have to turn my A/C on like I did last night.

IT'S CHRISTMAS.

So please, Santa, Governor Bentley, James Spann, someone--anyone--can you send a little winter weather my way?