The Alabama Crimson Tide welcomes Louisiana State University to Bryant-Denny Stadium Saturday night in what's being touted as "Game of the Century 2.0." Bama's sitting at #4 in the CFB rankings, while the Tigers nabbed the #2 spot. As Donald Trump (who's hosting SNL this weekend would say), "It's gonna be YUUUUUUUUUGE."


The past eight years have seen a once-benign SEC match-up develop into one of the most anticipated games of every football season. Lots of bad blood between Bama and LSU, y'all.

Fun Fact: I have several LSU fans in my own family, and I love them despite their grievous offense of rooting for such an abhorrent team. I, for one, do not care for the LSU Tigers; these are my reasons why.

1. School Colors

Can someone PLEASE, for the love of Ed Ogeron, get these people a dang Pantone palette? PICK ONE COLOR. I've see fans wear officially licensed merchandise that's a deep royal blue and yellow. I've seen people in purple and yellow. I've seen people in purple and gold, which BTW, are supposed to be the school colors. I'm willing to let the gold thing slide, but I cannot abide when it comes to the blue/purple nonsense. Get it together, people.

2. Mascot

Tigers! How original! It's not like there's any other school in the SEC who has a tiger as its mascot, right? (*eyeroll*) And what the what is the deal with Mike the Tiger? Who decided that a) it was cool to keep a Tiger in a cage and bring the poor thing into a football stadium and b) that having a REAL TIGER around 100,000+ people was not, you know, a public safety hazard? I'd question the decision making here, but dude was probably loaded on bourbon and corndogs.

3. Saban Saltiness

WHOO BOY, are these people salty when it comes to Nick Saban. Case and point: last year's game, in which fans chanted "F you, Saban" so loud it was caught on the CBS Broadcast. That was 2014. You know when Saban left LSU? 2004. TEN YEARS AGO. Get over it. Les Miles is a great coach. Here's a song for you, LSU fans.

4. Les Miles

Look, I don't have anything negative to say about Les Miles, save for the fact that he claps like he's playing Patty Cake, and that's weird. Les is the most entertaining coach in college football. And he's a good person.

5. Leonard Fournette

Again, nothing negative to say here because dude is insanely talented. And his brother's name is Lanard, and that is awesome. My issue is that everyone's all, "NO ONE CAN STOP LEONARD FOURNETTE!" But Bama can--and Bama has. Just watch the video above.

6. Spelling

I'm so over the unnecessary words that end in 'x.' Geaux Tigers! Ugh. WE GET IT. Y'ALL'S ANCESTORS WERE FRENCH. I'm seaux eaux-ver it.

7. Fans

Uggggggggggh. I'm not going to whine about their not being classy, because class is overrated--and only sour-grapes, "moral victory" fans whine about that kind of garbage. I don't like LSU fans because they are LSU fans. Like, do I need a reason here? Also: yelling "Tiger Bait!" at rando strangers is dumb.

How you doing, Bama Nation? Has the hate filled your hearts yet? I hope this post has inspired you to create some incredible signs for ESPN's College Gameday, which beeteedubs, is in T-Town tomorrow.

Meg Summers/TSM

Roll Tide, y'all!