Please Help Me Learn How to Live with a Chronic Snorer Because I Am Desperate and Really Miss Sleeping

There are things in life that annoy me. There are many things in life that annoy me--most of which are trivial and stupid. But there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING that irritates me more than being kept awake when I am trying to sleep.

When I lived in Forest Lake a few years ago, the students in the neighborhood often had parties. LOUD parties. I wanted to be all, "GET OFF MY LAWN," but I was only 25 at the time and realized that being young and awesome means doing young and awesome things like partying. NBD. I would pop in some earplugs and some NyQuil and be good to go.

Then I had a baby. Those first few months were HELL ON EARTH. My daughter would wake shrieking louder than a klaxon many, many, MANY times a night. I would tell you about the time before we figured out she had a milk protein sensitivity, but those are dark, tortured, colicky times that I have repressed deep, deep within the corners of my memory. My daughter is teething now--her molars--so she's been up a lot recently. It's frustrating, but I can handle it. I have a lot of patience when it comes to my kiddo.

But Good God, help me; there is one thing I just can't deal with: SNORING. I shared a room with my sister when we were kids and she snored. I mean SNORED. Girl was LOUD. I never slept. It was terrible. I used to clap right by her ear just to wake her up enough that she'd be all, "Whaaa?" and then take a few minutes to go back to sleep. That was my window of time. If I could fall asleep then, I would be golden.

I'll start with a little disclaimer: My husband is a good man. I love my husband. He is a great dad and my best friend, but he snores LOUDER than anyone I have ever heard. I know he can't help it, but I can't stand it. I try to fall asleep for HOURS. HOURS. I am kept awake almost all night because of his serious snoring.

I don't even begin to know how to describe the sound--it's like someone drowning a hippo while juggling chainsaws and trying to vacuum up a swimming pool of Jell-O. It's out of control. I often end up sleeping on the couch or in the guest room to get some actual rest.

What do I do? Do you have a snorer in your life? How do you deal? I am open to any and all suggestions because I AM DESPERATE.