The sun still beats down upon West Alabama with the fury of a thousand scorned fists, but it's September and I am wrapping myself in spicy denial, y'all. Why, you ask?


It's Pumpkin Spice season, bay-beeeeeeee. This is the time of year during which I reach my zenith. I ascend to my peak and most powerful form in the fall: dark hair, oversized hat, clothes straight out of Stevie Nicks' dressing room, combat boots, and always a latte in hand.

I know some of y'all want to come at me with that pumpkin spice hatred smoke, but I am not hear for it. People love to say that only basic witches love fall and that only the most basic of basics adore all things pumpkin spice.

If that's the case, then check my pH levels.

I love pumpkin spice. I love spooky movies. I love falling leaves and bigass hats and boots and making sure everything I encounter smells like a Yankee candle for the next three months.

This is MY TIME.

I will not apologize for my love of autumn, and so what if Big Coffee has conditioned me to associate the season with a certain blend of cinnamon, clove, and ginger? Who am I hurting by consuming vast amounts of spiced caffeine drinks (besides myself)?

Yes, I know I can buy pumpkin spice year-round. I stock up on my McCormick 365, y'all. I just ENJOY it the most this time of year.

I will not apologize for loving pumpkin spice. You can have my latte when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands.

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