Holiday Confession Time: I Hate Eggnog

The holidays are here, which means it’s time to pig out on an abundance of delicious treats… but when it comes to one tradition, I have to say no-ho-ho thank you.

I love Christmas and the holiday season. Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day is, hand down, the greatest time of the year for food lovers like me. You get to spend time with friends and family. You get to give and receive gifts, and you get an excuse to party like you’re 21 again. While there may be plenty of parties for hosting, I am more interested in the marshmallows for toasting… if you get my drift.

I love food. I love rich, delicious, decadent holiday food. Cookies, cakes, and pies? Yes, please. My Granny’s cheese straws? I’ll have a metric ton. Prime Rib, Ham, Sausage Balls? Hold on a second while I change into my maternity pants (yes; I still have them and saved them for this purpose alone. Great idea or GREATEST idea?). I love just about anything and everything related to holiday food—except one terrible, vile thing:

Eggnog.

That’s right: eggnog. I straight up HATE it. I always have and I guess I always will. I remember being a kid and getting my butt TORE UP because I was given a glass of eggnog and then projectile-spit that nastiness back out immediately. Every year, my parents would get cartons of eggnog and they and my brother and sisters would gleefully consume it as if it were some sort of magical elixir instead of the thick, nasty sludge it is.

“Try it,” they’d coax while pouring me a glass. “It’s not that bad!” I’d watch the eggnog glug-glug-glug out of the carton and into a mug, revolted by its sludgy thickness.

Then—horror—I’d be given the mug of eggnog. I’d pretend to take a sip to shut them up and when no one was looking, I poured it down the sink with unparalleled quickness. No one can convince me to drink eggnog, ok? Not even blood relatives.

I’ve tried to like eggnog, y’all. I really have. I’ve tried it on several occasions throughout my life, thinking that my palate (ooh! Bustin’ out those foodie terms!) would have somehow changed. I even tried the “adult” version of eggnog with spirits added for holiday cheer. But nothing ever worked for me.

No matter what I try, the taste of eggnog makes me gag. It’s strange, because I love the flavor combo of rich dairy, spices, and whatnot in say, French Toast. But then again, I don’t drink the egg wash for French Toast straight-up. Maybe it’s simply a textural thing, but to me, eggnog reminds me of mucus. And that’s just gross.

Am I crazy? Is eggnog really delicious and awesome? Should I see a doctor to have my tastebuds checked, or are there any other eggnog haters out there? Sound off in the comments so I know I’m not alone.