The 52 Stages of Having a Summer Cold

I've spent the last week fighting off the worst cold I've ever had. I had to take the past two days off because I couldn't even SPEAK. I totally lost my voice; it was terrible. I'm on day 3 of antibiotics, and I still feel pretty rough--but, hey; at least I'm able to talk again!

Colds, especially summer colds, are AWFUL. Here's the process I went through this week:

Tend to sick kid
Go insane from being stuck inside with sick kid
Notice your nose is running
Think, "Hey, my allergies are acting up"
Take Zyrtec
Wonder why it's not working
Wonder why your throat is so sore
Wonder why you feel like you've been hit by a Mack truck
Realize: it ain't allergies
Cry
Sneeze
Cough
Wheeze
Run a fever
Whine
Whine some more
Stay in bed all day Sunday
Go to work Monday even though you feel like you're a fragile Victorian lady dying of consumption ca 1912
Muddle through the workday wondering when your family will send you off to a sanatorium in the country so that your delicate lungs can heal in the crisp mountain air (or whatever Victorian ladies did)
Realize: you're kind of delirious from running a fever
Go home
Get in bed
Try to sleep but feel like you're drowning
Cough
Cough
Wheeze
Cough
Whine
Text in sick because you've totally lost your voice
Go to the doctor
Get shots
Get meds
Go home
Try to sleep
Cough
Whine
Wheeze
Whine
Watch the entire first season of True Detective On Demand because really, what else are you going to do
Cough
Whine
Start to feel a little better
Take a nap
Leave the house for the first time in almost 48 hours, shielding your eyes from the afternoon sun
Have your husband drive you to get takeout from Nothing But Noddles
WE BOTH KNOW I'M NOT COOKING TONIGHT, HONEY
Go to sleep
Wake up
Realize you can talk again
Go to work
Write this article
Consider getting sushi later

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