Life as a New Mom: The Power of Perspective

It's 2 AM, and I'm up with my daughter. AGAIN. I'm tired; she's fussy. I want to give in to the exhaustion and frustration, but then--an epiphany. This moment is only bad if I want it to be. This moment is only as bad as I want it to be. I could dwell in my frustration and be angry with my daughter for waking up for the 87th time tonight. It's easier to feel that way; giving in to the exasperation seems like the natural choice. But I am standing there at 2AM, holding a toddler in my arms, rocking her to sleep when I realize that this moment--this cranky, sleep-deprived, bleary-eyed moment--exists but once.

There will be plenty of fussy nights and fights in the future, sure, but this moment, this exact moment only happens once. I held my daughter as I sang to her, feeling the weight of her in my arms. I was amazed at how much she's grown in just a year, and I thought about how big she'll be in just twelve months from now.

I realized that my daughter needed me for that moment. She whimpered for me, for her momma. I came in and wiped away her tears and her runny nose. I held her close, singing her favorite lullabies. She needed me to help her fall asleep. I don't know why she woke up so often last night, but I do know that out of all the things in the world, my child needed me. To her I am comfort. To her I am love. To her I am everything that is right and good in the world. She cries out for me when she needs me.

Soon she won't. The toddler years will fly by; I'll blink and she'll be in kindergarten. Then a dizzying dozen years of classes, friends, recitals, proms, and before I know it, she's off to college. She's a grown woman.

It all happens so fast, so heart-breakingly fast. I've heard people say "live for the moment" countless times, but last night it finally made sense to me. I only have one January 27, 2014 with my daughter. ONE. It's up to me how she and I remember this day. That's the power of perspective--each moment is a treasure.

My daughter needed me last night, and I needed her, too.