Life as a New Mom: Playground Surprise Edition

It was a normal (albeit insanely hot) afternoon. I went to pick up my daughter from daycare. I could have never imagined the horror that awaited me. I'm shuddering just thinking of it. Y'all, let me tell you the crazy thing my kid did yesterday.

When I went to get my daughter from the playground, her teacher told me that Dolly had done something... interesting today. I laughed, thinking she'd taken off her shoes and stood in a fire ant hill again (yes; she's done that, and no: her father is not Johnny Knoxville), pitched a fit, or refused her lunch. Unfortunately, my daughter had done none of the above.

My child apparently found a DEAD MOUSE outside and carried it around like a toy. She even brought it to her teacher; she was that proud.

OF A DEAD MOUSE.

A.

DEAD.

MOUSE.

Did I mention that my child found and cuddled a dead mouse? Because that actually happened. My little Wednesday Addams hung out with a DEAD MOUSE.

Granted, she doesn't grasp the concept of death and it's not like my house is just full of dead animals which afford me the opportunity to be like, "Hey, don't cuddle with that disease-ridden carcass, okay?"

My daughter is fine. She got a 30 minute bath when we came home, and she's fine. I am monitoring her for signs of the Bubonic Plague, but she seems alright.

I, on the other hand... I will never be the same.