I'm cracking open the Alt Vault for Time Warp Tuesday. Here are seven retro songs and an unnecessary amount of my teenage trauma. Let's get it! 

Rock and Roll McDonald's/ Wesley Willis
Tab had never heard of Wesley Willis, so I force him to listen to this track. When I was in college, we used to play this song on the campus radio station so often that our faculty advisor removed it from the computer. Like, I'm sorry, but MCDONALD'S IS A PLACE TO ROCK.

Wuthering Heights/ Kate Bush
Although it was her first single, this is peak Kate Bush. Please watch this video. If there is only one thing you ever do for me, make it this. You will not be disappointed by the eccentric ethereal goddess that is Kate Bush.

She's Lost Control/ Joy Division 
You know your girl has an affinity for all things post-punk, and it doesn't get any better than Ian Curtis and Joy Division.

Not in Love/ Crystal Castles featuring Robert Smith
I always feature a Cure song for Time Warp Tuesday, but I am mixing it up today... here's a track that features Robert Smith (my #1 Goth Daddy). You can both dance AND cry to this absolute banger.

There's No Other Way/ Blur
I'm sad, so here's some Brit Pop.

Ava Adore/ The Smashing Pumpkins
I had a HUGE teenage crush on Billy Corgan. It's laughable now, because he's this like libertarian wrestling fanatic who is actually bald (not by choice).

One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces/ Ben Folds Five
I saved up babysitting money to buy Ben Folds Five's "Whatever and Ever Amen" back in 1998. I can't believe that was 21 years ago. Ouch.