Don't get too excited about the official start of summer. I am here to remind you that this season is, unquestionably, trash

I HATE summer. I've been swimming a few times, so I am 100% OVER IT. Summer is miserable in Alabama. How can one thrive when you step outside and are assaulted by 99 degree heat with 90% humidity? Why do we live here? It feels like this city is just a monument to man's arrogance and I am doomed to slowly sweat to death in the oppressive Alabama heat.

But, Meg, you protest, Summer can't be that miserable. Allow me to counter with the following reasons that you are wrong:

  • bees
  • heat
  • humidity
  • wasps
  • mosquitoes
  • butt sweat
  • thigh sweat
  • frizzy hair
  • that feeling when you turn on the a/c in a hot car and hot air blows out for like 2 seconds and your soul leaves your body
  • thirst
  • glasses fog
  • hornets
  • grasshoppers
  • people who say "is it hot enough for you?"
  • people who don't wear deodorant
  • jumping into a swimming pool wanting relief from the heat but discovering the water feels like bath water
  • boob sweat
  • horseflies
  • literally everything about summer sucks

 

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