Holiday Confession Time: I Hate Cadbury Creme Eggs

Don't hate me for this, but I think everyone's favorite Easter candy is 50 Shades of Nasty.

I love candy. I can't help it: always have and always will. Easter is especially rad to me because it affords me the opportunity to consume excessive amounts of the sweet stuff. I remember being a kid, running into the living room on Easter Sunday to tear apart the basket left for me by the Bunny--and eating candy in such a frenzy one might have confused me for a rabid badger. I would eat almost all the candy before getting cleaned up for church--God help those sweet women who taught me Sunday School, because I rolled up in there more hyped up than Jessie Spano on caffeine pills.

There is, however, a darkness that pollutes my otherwise pristine Easter memories: the Cadbury Creme Egg. I would try to eat one every year, but one bite in and I was DONE. I don't know why I thought this year's egg would be better than last year's, but I always tried. AND FAILED.

I hate Cadbury Creme Eggs. I am sorry, but I do. The chocolate shell is good, but inside there lurks a horror I can hardly comprehend. The filling--the nasty, thick, chalky, sugary filling. I just threw up a little in my mouth thinking about it. It's like someone took a big bowl of snot, poured in a metric butt-ton of powdered sugar and thought, "This will work."

No--at least, not for me. I am also exceptionally repulsed by the fact that the filling has a circle that's dyed yellow to look like a yolk. When you crack the chocolate shell, the "egg" pours out--just like a real one! I'm sorry, but I don't eat raw, runny eggs. I'm literally shuddering as I type this.

Luckily, I am one of four kids. I was always able to trade out the disgusting eggs for something better---like Starburst Jelly Beans, Dove truffle eggs, or the Holy Grail of Easter Candies, the Reese's Peanut Butter Egg. I hear a chorus of angels singing right now...

Am I crazy? Was I born with defective tastebuds? If you think the Cadbury Creme Egg is the best thing since sliced bread, make sure you vote for it in Greg's poll.