Stop whatever you're doing and check out this absolutely incredible post from the Alabama Student Ticket Exchange.

(For those of y'all who don't know, the Alabama Student Ticket Exchange is a Facebook group for UA students and Tuscaloosans, and it's for a lot more than just tickets to a football game. Furniture, memorabilia, and clothes are frequently sold--think of it like another Facebook Marketplace--and many students use the group to find new roommates or find their next house or apartment.)

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I was scrolling through the Alabama Student Ticket Exchange last night when I spotted a post from Chase Sieradski. Chase is selling a custom bike mini bike.

See, Chase could have just been like, I am selling this bike. It vroom vroom real nice. Price is $450.

BUT no.

Not Chase. He described his beloved bike in truly epic form.

"You’ve seen it. You’ve loved it. Now, you can own it. It’s a custom built Mini Bike with an oversized 212 CC motor. This thing will push you to 30 like the absolute monster it is, and you’ll have a smile on your face the whole time," he wrote.

Chase Sieradski via Facebook
Chase Sieradski via Facebook

"Fame. Fortune. Notoriety. It can all be yours. The moment you’ll buy this thing, you’ll be the coolest guy on campus. I don’t make the rules. Also, get 60 miles to the gallon. Y’all ever paid less than $1 for two weeks of straight boolin? Now you can," he wrote.

Chase Sieradski via Facebook
Chase Sieradski via Facebook

"I could list about a million more reasons to buy this thing, but you get the point. Be the person you’ve always wanted to be. The person with the tiny motorcycle," he added.

This is just... *chef's kiss* Although the motor only has about 300 miles on it, Chase went for the cherry on top by listing the mileage as 420.

It's perfect. I could cry.

View the listing here and then buy this bike and take me for a joyride.

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