50 Reasons Why Summer is Absolute Garbage

Summer may not officially start until Memorial Day, but it's already hot as hell in West Alabama--and I need to remind everyone that summer is, in fact, GARBAGE.

Here are 50 reasons why:

1. heat
2. humidity
3. bees
4. wasps
5. mosquitoes
6. electricity bills higher than Lindsay Lohan
7. hornets
8. snakes
9. people who don't wear deodorant
10. rising gas prices
11. asphalt parking lots that are like 46378268764973 degrees farenheit
12. pool crowds
13. water park crowds
14. amusement park crowds
15. festival crowds
16. yellow jackets
17. that one dude who wears sandals with socks
18. the moment condensation from a beverage drips onto your clothes
19. armpit sweat
20. back sweat
21. shorts/dresses that cause your plump thighs to rub up against each other
22. getting chub rub from your thighs keeping in touch like bffs
23. pollen
24. no football
25. people who take vacations when you can't afford one
26. people who go to festivals when you can't afford a ticket
27. ants
28. fire ants
29. buying a watermelon and finding out you didn't get the seedless variety
30. that five minutes of misery before the a/c kicks in
31. traffic jams
32. days when there's a .05% chance of rain so you can't roll down your windows to let the hot swamp air escape while you're trapped in the office
33. that one kid who splashes too much in the pool
34. people who invite you to picnics or whatever and pretending like you have actual intentions of attending instead of staying at home and binging netflix like the sad potato you are
35. graduations
36. weddings
37. basically any event that requires pants
38. bees
39. wasps
40. hornets
41. mosquitoes
42. mosquitoes
43. mosquitoes
44. wasps
45. wasps
46. wasps
47. wasps
48. ticks
49. tick bites that cause you to pull up webmd and convince yourself you now have lonestar disease
50. the uncomfortable post-thunderstorm hike in humidity

I could probably think of 1,000 reasons why summer is THE WORST. I hate it, man. Bring on fall and football!