My man Monk shared the five best things about this week, and since I am an eternal pessimist, I thought I would come through with the five worst things...

via GIPHY

Does this make me Alt's resident Daria? If so, life goal achieved...

1. Wasps

Not like WASP wasps, the literal wasps. The jerk insects that sting you. It seems like these little a**holes are everywhere. I am terrified of wasps, so I see one and I RUN. I live in perpetual fear that a wasp will get into my home and then I'll just have to set fire to everything.

2. Heat and Humidity

Oh boy, do I love getting drenched in sweat just walking to my car. Isn't 99 degrees with 99 percent humidity the best? Don't you love having to sell a kidney to afford to pay your electricity bill?

3. Jimmy Buffett

IDK why, but people feel the need to blast Buffett this time of year. Let me be real with you: I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate Jimmy Buffett. He sucks. His music is trash. Pull up the lyrics to literally any of his songs and tell me with a straight face that they aren't indistinguishable from a Applebee's happy hour menu. I dare you.

4. Negative Politicians

I am SO SICK of seeing politicians who run negative campaigns. Why can't you tell me how you're going to enact change or make our lives and communities better? Why do you have to base your entire campaign on dissing "liberals" or "conservatives?" Just... ugh.

5. The loss of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade

I'm very serious when it comes to this one. These stories broke my heart, and I can't say it enough: if you're struggling with depression or thoughts of self-harm, please reach out to someone. There is no shame in getting help.