Motherhood: What I’ve Learned in Year One

This time last year I was six months pregnant, eating fruit roll-ups with hot sauce and walking around on the thickest cankles mankind has ever seen. Today, I am the mother of an eight-month-old baby girl who is more of a toddler and less of a baby every day. Here's what I have learned from Year One.

1. Nothing in this or any other world can even come close to the love you feel for your child. To this day I still have moments where I look at my baby girl and feel so much love for her that I feel as if I will explode. It wells up inside of me and spills out in tears. I never knew I could love anyone or anything as much as I love my Dolly.

2. The chores can wait. Don't stress yourself trying to make your home look like something out of Southern Living. Ain't nobody got time for that--literally. If you have to choose between washing a load of laundry or playing an extra game of patty-cake before bedtime, always choose option B. The laundry and chores will still be there tomorrow, but the chance to make a memory with your child won't.

3. You don't need sleep. LOL LOL LOL I am not serious about this one, y'all. You do need sleep, but you somehow learn to live without it. If Dolly wakes up at night, I'm up, too. There will be a day when I'll have to use an airhorn to blast her teenage behind out of bed, but for now, she needs lullabies. I am happy to abide.

4. It's okay to cry. When you're a new mother, people bombard you with unwarranted advice, but no one ever tells you that it's okay to turn into a sobbing mess after you bring baby home from the hospital. You're still in pain. You're sleep deprived, and your hormones are raging harder than a teen drama on the CW. As women, we feel this ridiculous amount of pressure to be perfect, and I am telling you now: IT DOESN'T MATTER. Cry if you need to. If you suspect you have post-partum depression, tell someone. I did. I took medication for a while, and it helped tremendously. Please don't allow yourself the chance to express the 8290151209759381 emotions you feel after you have a child because you're afraid of what others will think of you.

5. It's okay to get angry sometimes. You bring the baby home and she wakes up crying every three hours. That's all she does for like, two months. There are times when you hear that shrill cry and think, "ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE YOU SERIOUS?" That's okay. Being a mom is hard. It's the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. There were times when Dolores would wail endlessly and I was beside myself with what felt like resentment. THAT'S OKAY. I mean, don't straight-up rage on your kids, because that's obviously wrong, but it's perfectly normal to be annoyed with them from time to time. Perhaps the Good Lord gives you a wailing infant first before you get a bratty teenager--if you can handle a baby in banshee mode, you can handle ANYTHING.

6. You can't be prepared for everything. You can fill a diaper bag with every essential, but you're still going to miss something. Mommyfog will rot your brain. You'll go out to dinner one night and realize you forgot Sophie La Girafe or a sippy cup. It may seem like the Apocalypse at the time, but it's NBD. You learn how to roll with both the metaphorical and literal punches.

7. Brand-new clothes are a total waste of money, or HAND ME DOWNS FOR LIFE. I see friends buying hundred dollar outfits for their kids and I seriously question their sanity. You know that your child will a) grow out of it, b) poop, pee, or vom on it, c)get baby food or juice stains on it, or d) all of the above---right? There is nothing wrong with shelling out the cash for a classy outfit for a special occasion or portrait session, but for every day wear and play? Get real. And get on over to the nearest consignment store.

8. Don't forget to breathe. You need "me" time. You deserve it. When I was on maternity leave, I would hand Dolly over to her dad when he came home from work, lock the door to the bathroom, and submerge myself in a bubble-bath  If that's not your jam, go out for dinner with a friend. Get a manicure. Eat a pint of Haagen-Daz. YOU DESERVE IT.

9. Take as many pictures as possible. The past eight months have been a blur, and I am so thankful I've documented it all with pictures and videos. I am going to cherish them forever... and then show the embarrassing ones to all Dolly's friends once she's in high school.

10. Savor every moment. This one needs no explanation. Your baby is a perfect gift from God. Cherish it all: the cuddles, the lullabies, the banshee wailing, the times she poops on you (YES, IT HAPPENED BUT I AM NOT READY TO TALK ABOUT IT), the first time you see her smile, the first time you hear her laugh. It's all good.

Happy Mother's Day, Mommies!