Confession Time: I Hate Summer

Y'all can fire up the grill and jump in the pool all you want, but I am stying inside with the AC cranked all the way down to ARCTIC. It's hot. It's humid. It's miserable. I'll come right out and say it: I hate summer.

Summer is THE WORST of all the seasons. But Meg, you protest, summer means vacations and leisure time and barbeques and swimming pools and suntans!

You are sadly mistaken, dear reader, as summer really means unbearable heat, disgusting humidity, sunburns, mosquitoes, wasps, hornets, bees and all the things that sting/bite, and an electric bill so high one must auction off a kidney/first born to pay it in full.

I HATE summertime. I go swimming once and I am OVER IT. I can't stand being outside. It  gets so hot here in Alabama that you feel like you're standing on the surface of the dang sun. You sweat profusely from the heat, but it's so humid there is nowhere for your sweat to go--the air simply can't hold any more moisture.

That means you walk around covered in sweat and look like a HOT MESS. Your hair? Forget about the sleek, polished look. You're going to sport a halo of frizz in addition to a grossly damp neckline. I was hugely pregnant last summer, and sweet lord, that was the absolute worst thing ever. I waddled around like a sweaty elephant. Thankfully, only a few photos remain of me at this stage.

I can't go outside in the summer because in addition to the oppressive heat and humidity, there are bugs, bugs, BUGS. I am a mosquito magnet, so any time outdoors means a gagillion itchy bites. I can't have picnics or go on hikes because I end up being chased by an angry bee/wasp/hornet and run around shrieking like an insane person. I HATE ALL INSECTS.

I CANNOT WAIT for summer to be over--granted, it doesn't 'officially' start until June 22, but I am already in peak misery season. When summer is over, it is fall--the greatest season of all: falling colorful leaves, cardigan weather, FOOTBALL.

I am retreating to my air conditioned fortress of solitude until October. Wake me up when September ends.