5 Things Never to Say to Someone from Tuscaloosa

Tuscaloosa is a great place to live and work. You've got to love the City of Champions, but if you're not from here, you may need to watch what you say. Here's a list of five things never to say to anyone from Tuscaloosa.

1. Alabama football sucks.

I know we just came off of a heartbreaking loss to Clemson in the College Football National Championship Game, but let me tell you: the Alabama Crimson Tide has never and will never suck (okay, except for those Shula years, but we don't talk about that). Mentioning anything negative about the Tide is verboten within city limits.

2. Nick Saban is overrated.

HOW DARE YOU. Nick Saban is the G.O.A.T., and any statement to the contrary is going to result in your catching these hands.

3. I don't like BBQ.

Everyone loves barbecue. You can debate whether you're a Dreamland or Archibald's diehard, but you can't reject one of the South's finest culinary contributions.

4. Roadwork can't be that much of an inconvenience.

LIES. Spend more than a day commuting in Tuscaloosa and you won't be able to say anything positive about the approximately 7.4 million road work projects that are currently underway in Tuscaloosa. It's the WORST.

5. Who is James Spann?

Um, are you serious right now? James Spann, Chief Meteorologist for ABC 33/40 in Birmingham, is literally the best weatherman to ever grace the airwaves. Dude is Mother Nature's Son. His accurate severe weather coverage has saved countless lives within the City of Tuscaloosa. James Spann is the Man.